Black Lives Matter. 

First and foremost my faith and loyalties are to God and my family. Not to one political party, not to one organization, not to one version of love. I believe what has been going on with Black Lives Matter & Police Brutality have layers upon layers of trauma, emotion, fear and certainly can not be represented with one FB or IG post here and there. I think it’s time as a white person to listen. To take pause and reflect why anger or confusion or defensive behaviors are coming up. I think it’s time as a human to speak up in unity. To honor our differences, be patient with one another, empathize with each other and above all lead with love.  

I stand with Black Lives Matter. If BLM makes you uncomfortable or initiate defensive behaviors (responding with All Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, etc) ask yourself why. If I am honest, when BLM was first created, I was a little uncomfortable. I didn’t disagree but I thought ‘Well all lives matter…lets come together, there is one race—-The Human Race!’  I don’t like conflict so for me these responses were coming from a place of fear. I was operating from a place of fear. BLM never once said all lives do not matter. When you support a breast cancer group, are you opposing all other cancer support groups? Of course not, that is silly. I stand with BLM because I am choosing to see and acknowledge the ripple effect of years and years and years of systemic racism. I am choosing to acknowledge that if Tamir Rice was white he’d still be alive. I am choosing to acknowledge and admit to the racist undertones that I’ve experienced from family, friends, professionals, neighbors, etc. and pretended like I didn’t hear it, or ignored it. I will speak up. I will lead with love. I choose to acknowledge the privilege I have in telling my three children about the brave policemen and women they see in the street and that my story of the hero’s in blue will not be the same story a black mother has to give her child.  I choose to acknowledge that my heart broke for Tamir Rice’s family back in 2014 but my day went on. I was confused and angered by Eric Garners death, but my day went on.  

Since becoming a mother these tragedies hit closer to the heart, and I’m sorry the outrage wasn’t there in 2014.  I can’t imagine the fear I’ve had to encompass these past few days for the safety of my girls to be the normal feeling I have every time they leave the house.  I can’t imagine the fear my children would have being chased down by strangers when out for a jog.  I can’t imagine….but it’s happening. It’s reality for other mothers. I will continue to support the brave and just men and women in the police force, but not with a blind allegiance. Just as I will continue to support the brave humans fighting for justice but not the few who are choosing to exploit these times for personal gain. I will continue to support BLM and stand with my fellow mothers, fathers, friends, sons and daughters but will choose to see and honor our differences instead of trying to force everything into one box.  

If you find yourself outraged at the looting and rioting and are using your voice to stand up against the violence, good. Was the same passionate voice there after Ahmaud Arbery? Breonna Taylor? George Floyd? I know mine wasn’t. I know I’ve strayed away from conflict and uncomfortable conversations in fear of acknowledging these differences would divide us more. I hope for a better future for all of our children. The best hero’s come from tragedy. I choose to acknowledge the layers upon layers of emotion and trauma that are involved with coming together but I believe there is hope. Lead with love, empathize with each other’s trials, give grace to one’s mistakes and show patience for people’s efforts to be better. 

Much love to my entire Carley K family and from the bottom of my heart I thank you for 10 years of love stories, I can’t wait to start the next 10.